If only you can understand me

Kolej Matrikulasi Perlis. 
Al-Kindi C1, room 203
Cold. Starving. Ahhh

My mental state isn't at its very best. I am not happy with the way i am right now. I can't breathe and i feel like there's this huge burden on me. I feel like my future will be a dark and scary and i don't know how to change that. I feel so helpless. I keep getting distracted from my work and after a while I'd end up thinking to myself, 'Where did the time go?' 

I feel like giving up. My head is just a mess. Sometimes i forget my purpose of being here. Of just being, you know, here. I keep forgetting my goals and my dreams and i keep losing my motivation. I keep forgetting the quotes and phrases i used to keep me motivated to keep on doing whatever I'm doing. I keep losing hope. I have never felt so alone in my life. 

I can't find the words to describe my situation right now but all i know is that I'm not in a very good state at the moment. I'm very unstable these days and i just feel so lost. I keep wanting to call my mama or kakyang, just to talk about my problems but the thing is i don't even know what to talk about. Like i said, i can't find the words to explain my situation at the moment. I don't even know what my problem is, to begin with. 

I just want someone who can understand me better than i can. I dont understand myself most of the time. Is that just too much to ask?